Malls and Mattresses

This is my first ever blog post. I've wanted to start a blog for a while now, but I of course procrastinated until it was no longer hip or cool and more of a necessity... like having a Chanel bag. Oh wait I don't have a Chanel bag yet either.

I'm typing this from my bedroom, which is overheated because the heat in my house goes straight to my bedroom. It's very annoying but I tolerate it because my bed is so comfortable. It's a tempurpedic. I paid a nauseating sum of money for it, so I kind of feel obligated to spend at least three hours a day sitting on it in addition to six or so hours a day sleeping on it. I've gotta get my money's worth, you know?

I worked on Sam & Cat today. I got off early, so I went to the mall. In an attempt to be healthy, I ate some terrible organic, vegan, gluten-free, soy-free, whatever-else-can-be-free kemp noodles in the food court. The noodles tasted like cardboard with too much mint and I wanted to cry as I was chewing them. I couldn't believe my life had come to that.

Once I was finished, I seriously considered walking across the way to Panda Express and wolfing down some orange chicken. The only thing to stop me was the fact that all the granola-ey Earth Food employees would have been judging me during my entire walk of doom. I could see them in my mind, healthy little toned arms crossed, visors tilted in a decidedly disapproving manner, wagging their fingers as if to say, "no, no, you poor, unfortunate, will-powerless soul."

It was tough to walk away, but ultimately I'm okay with my decision. I gave myself a pat on the back for willpower. And then I rewarded myself for the willpower by taking fourteen Wetzel Bitz samples from Wetzels Pretzels.

Progress.